The Company You Keep: When Those Beside You Are Not With You
There is a painful truth that experience teaches and scripture confirms: Not everyone who stands beside you stands with you.
Proximity is not the same as loyalty. A seat at your table does not guarantee good intentions toward your future. Some of the greatest obstacles on your journey to destiny will not come from open enemies, but from hidden companions.
The Warning of Scripture
The Bible is remarkably honest about this reality. It does not paint a picture of a world where everyone who crosses our path wishes us well. Instead, it warns us to discern the spirits and motivations of those who draw near.
Consider Nehemiah. When he set his heart to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, he faced immediate opposition. But the opposition did not only come from outsiders like Sanballat and Tobias. He also had to navigate the treachery of nobles within Judah who were in league with the enemy.
“There were also those who said, ‘We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards, and our houses to get grain because of the famine.'” — Nehemiah 5:3
Even among his own people, there were those whose self-interest created friction and delay. Nehemiah had to contend not only with external threats but with internal drains.
But perhaps the clearest and most sobering example is found in the life of our Lord Jesus Christ.
“Jesus answered them, ‘Have I not chosen you, the twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.’ He spoke of Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon, for he it was who would betray him, being one of the twelve.” — John 6:70-71
Pause and let that sink in. Jesus Himself—perfect in wisdom, infinite in discernment—walked intimately with a man who carried betrayal in his heart. Judas stood beside Him. He ate with Him. He traveled with Him. He appeared to be with Him. But he was not for Him.
If the sinless Son of God experienced betrayal from within His inner circle, what makes us think we will be exempt?
Two Kinds of Hidden Opposition
The notion raised identifies two distinct types of people who position themselves beside us but not with us:
1. Those Sent to Slow You Down
These are the drains. They do not necessarily wish you harm in a dramatic sense. They simply have no urgency about your vision. Their questions, their doubts, their hesitations become weights around your ankles.
They are the ones who say:
· “Let us wait until the timing is better.”
· “Are you sure this is wise?”
· “No one has ever done it that way before.”
Their words sound like wisdom. But their function is delay. They are spiritual sandbags on the hot air balloon of your destiny. They do not need to push you down; they simply refuse to rise with you.
Proverbs 13:20 warns us: “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”
The fool is not always someone lacking intelligence. Sometimes the fool is the one who lacks vision. And if you walk too long with those who cannot see where you are going, you will eventually stop moving forward.
2. Those Sent to Ensure You Do Not Arrive
These are more dangerous. They are the Judases. They carry the appearance of support but the agenda of destruction.
Their weapon is often subtle. They may:
· Sow discord among your team.
· Twist your words to create misunderstanding.
· Position themselves as your advocate while undermining your authority.
· Wait for the moment of your vulnerability to strike.
Micah 7:5-6 gives a chilling instruction: “Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother… a man’s enemies are the men of his own house.”
The scripture acknowledges that the deepest wounds often come from those closest to us—those in our “own house.”
The Discernment to Distinguish
How then shall we live? Must we become paranoid, suspicious of every handshake and embrace?
No. But we must become prayerful. We must cultivate the gift of discernment.
Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, prayed for “an understanding heart to discern between good and evil.” He knew that leadership requires the ability to read not only circumstances but people.
Thanks for reading; May God’s wisdom lead you and His Peace remain steady within you. Amen
