Setting healthy boundaries isn’t cold. It’s just being smart. Think of your energy and peace in your own life as private ground. Not everyone belongs there and that is okay.
Some people are a bit like cobras. They can be captivating or even seem like they need a lot of help. You can give them all the time and love in the world, and maybe you think that changes things, but it rarely rewrites someone’s basic nature. When they feel threatened or just triggered, they bite. It is simply what they do. Ignoring that pattern isn’t being a kind person; it’s actually a type of naivety that only ever results in you getting hurt.
Maybe we ought to look at boundaries differently. They aren’t meant to be walls that block everyone out and shut down the world. Instead, they are more like a gate. You get to decide who actually earns the right to walk through. You can care for people from a distance if you need to, but never assume that just being around someone means you are safe.
Scripture puts it pretty clearly Prov. 27:12: the prudent person sees the danger ahead and takes cover, but simple people just keep going and pay the price. Drawing a line isn’t a lack of heart. In fact, it is the only way to keep your heart intact.
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